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Do Funeral Traditions Matter?

Writer's picture: Hardingstone CeremoniesHardingstone Ceremonies

Neolithic burial ground indicating ancient funeral traditions
Neolithic Burial Ground, Gloucestershire

Coming across the Neolithic burial mound at Coaley Peak in Gloucestershire, caused me to reflect on how much traditions surrounding this most inevitable life event have changed over the millenia, centuries and in recent years. 


The exact origins of burial rites are unknown but it is clear that communities across the globe throughout the history of human civilisation have taken part in a mixture of practical and ritualistic actions following the death of a member of their community.  Of course the rituals used often reflect the beliefs held about what happens after death; famously the Pharaohs of ancient  Egypt were buried with jewellery, crockery, food and even models of their servants; all to ensure they were short of nothing in their next life.  The ancient Greeks and Romans buried their dead with a coin to pay the ferryman who carried souls from this world to the afterlife; the payment was to ensure safe passage.  On occasions the traditions of one culture get mixed with that of another - Mexico’s Day of the Dead is one such example where the Aztec origins of celebrating dead ancestors has merged with the Christian festivals of All Hallows’ Eve and All Saints’ Day to produce the extravagant, colourful festival celebrated in Latin America today.


Since the 4th century, it is Christian belief that has dominated Europe and later North America and most of the funeral traditions in Britain reflect this philosophy.  Christian theology is dominated by the belief in resurrection for believers and for centuries it was widely believed that the physical body was required for this, meaning that burial was the necessary option for Christians.   However, by the late Victorian age the sheer volume of burials as well as an increased understanding about disease led to the concept of Cremation gaining in popularity. Christian theology developed too; increasingly the concept of resurrection was explored as a spiritual reality. Whilst cremation now accounts for the vast majority of funerals in the UK, the first cremation here didn’t take place until 1885 and the Roman Catholic church only lifted its objection in 1963.


Years ago most people died at home and the undertaker was likely to be a carpenter capable of making a coffin.  If they were lucky enough to have a horse and cart they could transport the deceased from the home to the local churchyard.  At this time the only option was to be laid to rest according to Christian or Jewish principles; it was not until the 1980s that the British Humanist Association began to offer non-religious funerals in the UK.  Today, most families choose to appoint a funeral director to make all the necessary arrangements.  Although there is, at the time of writing, no legislation governing the funeral industry, many funeral directors sign up voluntarily to the Funeral Director Code and are actively involved in the campaign for regulation.


The right Funeral Director will take the deceased person into their care and ensure they and the family are looked after throughout the planning and delivering of the funeral.  They will put you in touch with the right officiant, organise the Order of Service and any visual tributes you choose to have. They will guide you through the traditions and help you to choose the ones that are right for you and your loved ones.


For some, the traditions of a formal funeral feel outdated and irrelevant - whilst I completely sympathise with the need to say farewell in a way that is meaningful to you and your loved one, I am firmly of the opinion that the growing trend of unattended cremations is often a mistake and  have written about this elsewhere.  I feel strongly that a funeral provides those left behind with the opportunity to say their farewells and to begin to confront the reality of life without their loved one. As such I am convinced of their critical importance.  However, I also consider that the exact nature of the funeral should be intensely personal. Some traditions are valuable and bring comfort to the mourners such as transporting the deceased in a traditional hearse or holding a wake after the service.  Others, such as stopping the clocks in the room in which a person had died to prevent bad luck have become less relevant.   For some there is still an expectation to wear black or at least sombre colours to a funeral; considered as it is a sign of respect.  Others opt to honour the deceased by wearing their favourite colour or simply to add to the sense of celebration by bright attire. For more information about Funerals and Farewells, please see my website.


Natural Burial Ground - an environmental option
Natural Burial Ground - Leicestershire

It is increasingly popular for families to hold a Celebration of Life rather than a funeral - this is a ceremony that concentrates on a life well-lived and might involve funny stories or readings or even fireworks.  A Living Funeral is the most extreme example of this - a party held by a person ahead of their death; a chance to say goodbye in person with those you love.  It wouldn’t be everyone’s choice but can be hugely comforting for some.  Another area where funerals are changing is with regard to their environmental impact;  people are increasingly choosing eco-friendly coffins, natural burial sites and new more energy efficient cremation methods.


As with everything in life I am convinced that a funeral ceremony should reflect the traditions and values that are important to you; the traditions you choose to observe should be right for you. If a particular tradition feels appropriate then include it but try not to feel under pressure to do something because others say you should.


By Catrina Young, Leicestershire Heart-led celebrant, Marking Life’s Moments.

© Hardingstone Ceremonies, October 2024  






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1 Comment


Guest
Oct 07, 2024

Thanks, Catrina. Interesting and informative.

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