Funeral Readings FAQ

Finding the perfect farewell.

When searching for readings at a funeral, families often ask me one or more of the questions below. I should say that the poems and readings offered below are a tiny fraction of those available; in this article, I do not seek to provide a list of possible readings but rather offer a guide to finding something you find comforting. I hope the answers here are helpful if you’re looking for a suitable reading.

Does a reading have to be religious? This is a really common question and the answer depends on the context of the service. Whilst most religious leaders will be happy for you to include a secular reading within their service, a Humanist service should be entirely non-religious - I say should because often people call themselves Humanist or families ask for a Humanist service without appreciating that Humanism is an entirely atheist world view.  An Independent Celebrant such as myself, however, is free to create a ceremony with whatever blend of religious and non-religious sentiments suit the occasion. Families often ask me for a ‘nod’ to their loved one’s faith or community and choose to include, for example, The Lord’s Prayer, a Biblical or religious reading in an otherwise secular service.

What non-religious readings are there? Again the answer to this rather depends on your own perspective.  Lots of readings which are not overtly religious and which do not contain reference to God, include a concept of continuing life, the hope of meeting loved ones again in the future and so on.  This means that what is non religious to one person may not be seen as such by another.  Two of my favourite truly secular readings are, a quote about the universe by the scientist Brian Cox,

"What a wonderful thing to be part of that Universe." Photo by Greg Rakozy

“Our story is the story of the Universe.

Every piece of everyone and everything you love, 

of everything you hate,

of everything you hold precious 

was assembled in the first few minutes of the life of the Universe,

and transformed in the hearts of stars, 

or created in their fiery deaths.

When you die, those pieces will be returned to the Universe in the endless cycle of death and rebirth. What a wonderful thing to be part of that Universe. And what a story. What a majestic story!” And from the dystopian novel, 'Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, “Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there. It doesn’t matter what you do, he said, so as long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away.”  

I like this reading but everyone has it. This is a popular concern; I am always quick to reassure people that the reason it is popular is that it expresses something powerful and does so beautifully.  Examples of such readings include 'Death is Nothing At All' by Canon Henry Scott-Holland.  This poem speaks of our continued relationship with the person who has died, “Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.” This can be a comforting sentiment within a funeral service. Another popular reading is a favourite of mine that I read at my mother's funeral, 'She is Gone' by David Harkins.  In this poem we are encouraged to reflect on the legacy of our loved one and to move forward with this.  I find the line “You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday” particularly inspiring as is the final,“You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back. Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

If you find a poem that resonates with you about your loved one, please don’t be put off using it because it is popular - this is your service for your loved one and as such it is already unique.

Can I have a funny reading? Absolutely!  Often these days we are creating a celebration of a person’s life and a lighthearted or funny reading can lift the mood beautifully. If you’re after something funny, you might like to consider, 'Pardon Me For Not Getting Up' by Kelly Roper which begins, “Oh dear, if you’re reading this right now, I must have given up the ghost. I hope you can forgive me for being such a stiff and unwelcoming host."  Another option is 'Death' by the comic Sean Hughes in which he states, “I know how boring funerals can be” and describes what he’d like his to be 

“I want people to gather, meet new people, have a laugh, a dance, meet a loved one.

I want people to have free drink all night.”

Can I reflect a person’s hobby? Of course. Often in my work of writing a funeral service, I seek to include a reading that reflects an interest, characteristic or hobby of the person who has died. One gentleman’s family were delighted by The Countryman by Treeautumn25 which includes the verse, “The spring will see the snowdrops cry,

They'll look around and wonder why, Why the hands that helped them grow, Are not still here to see their show.”  For sailors, by profession or hobby, 'The Ship' by Bishop Brent is a beautiful metaphor of life,“She is an object of beauty And I stand watching her till at last She fades on the horizon, And someone at my side says, "She is gone." Gone where? Gone from my sight, That is all.”

Where should I look for a funeral reading?

A simple Google search will bring up plenty of options for suitable readings with

plenty of celebrants and Funeral Directors offering selections on their websites.  Organisations such as The Good Grief Trust are helpful sources too featuring as they do both traditional readings and the works of modern poets such as Donna Ashworth.  Donna has written a number of stunning poems that are suitable for a funeral.  One of my absolute favourites is 'Love Came First' which starts, "You don’t move on after loss, but you must move with."and finishes with the beautiful, "Remember. Grief came to you my friend because love came first. Love came first."

Another source of readings is literature;  a favourite children’s book can express our

"once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

love powerfully, for example from A A Milne’s Winnie the Pooh, “If ever there is tomorrow

when we’re not together…there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.”

Quoting a favourite author or a passage from a favourite book is a beautiful way to personalise a funeral. Of course you may want to write your own passage to be read at a loved one’s funeral.  Thinking of this as writing a letter can be helpful and will invariably produce a heart-felt, personal tribute to a loved one.

For more information on the services of farewell that I create, please take a look at my website and related blogs.

By Catrina Young, Leicestershire Heart-led celebrant, Marking Life’s Moments.

© Hardingstone Ceremonies, September 2025.