Weddings are, for many, big days. Some people describe them as the best day of their life and anyone planning a wedding will be all too aware of the expectations that arise from this. There is a pressure to ensure everything is perfect and the wedding industry is skillful at ensuring you get the message, loudly and clearly, that expensive means good. Some couples can easily afford a big, lavish occasion and for others they are happy to save up in order to have exactly what they want on their wedding day. This is great, if indeed it is what you (and your partner) want but it saddens me when I hear of couples starting married life burdened with debt or looking back on a day that ran away with them and ended up not being the one they had envisioned.
So how do you keep to a budget when planning a wedding? With the average cost of a wedding in the UK now being approx £20,000 (Hitched, Jan 24) it is clear that many couples will need to do some serious budgeting but this doesn’t mean they can’t have a dream wedding; it all depends on the dream. It’s a cliché but the key to delivering within budget is to decide your priorities and stick to them. If having exceptional, stunning professional photographs from the day is important to you then absolutely you should prioritise your search for the right photographer and accept this will come at a price. For the elements that are less critical to you, look for cheaper ways to fulfil these. In this article, I take the various elements of a wedding and offer alternatives to the ideas you will find at wedding fairs! I also offer some contacts to pursue - they are all connections I have made and am happy to recommend. Very few couples will choose all the alternatives and the ones that appeal will depend on your priorities - just as they should; this is after all your day.
Guest List: Probably the starting point for most weddings. How many people do you want to accommodate? This will greatly impact your accommodation and catering costs. During the pandemic we saw the rise of the micro-wedding (defined as a wedding with fewer than 20 guests) and it is a fashion that has remained. Having a small and intimate affair feels right for many and can allow for a more indulgent experience for those attending. Decisions about plus ones and children are also important. Are you prepared to spend your money on the new partner of a friend for example? If the answer is no, stick to your guns but be prepared for some to politely (and some not so politely!) decline your invitation if not allowed to bring their teenage children, dog, baby etc.
Accommodation: There are plenty of fabulous wedding venues on offer although the most popular are booked up a long way in advance. Look into their packages; often mid-week weddings are cheaper than weekends and some real bargains can be had by holding your wedding out of high season. Personally, I love a winter wedding - rich colours, warm fabrics and twinkling lights are deeply romantic in my book. Consider decor - if you commit to a spectacular setting, you may not need to spend anything else on ‘dressing’ the venue to look sumptuous. Alternatively, consider a cheaper setting and then spend some cash on ‘dressing’ it how you wish. Not many are lucky enough to have space for a marquee in their own garden but might know someone who could accommodate one? Marquee hire seems to cost in the region of £3,000 for 150 seated capacity although do be sure to find out if catering facilities, loos etc are included. A local village hall can be made to look divine by a stylist and many have good kitchens and plenty of parking. Capacity and hire charges will vary (my local hall has capacity for 150 and would cost approx £300 for an afternoon and evening with bar) but are a fraction of the cost of dedicated venues. Your local pub might have a function room or if you’re after something truly casual, how about inviting friends to a pic-nic in the park?! Perhaps most likely to be popular with those living in New York but…
For couples looking for a events stylist (Midlands), I recommend White Violet Weddings & Events .
Catering: What will people remember from your wedding, being well fed with delicious food and enjoying a drink or the precise menu and the individual canapés? I suspect the former, so if you are looking for an outside caterer, find one offering good quality, straightforward food. Another way to reduce catering costs is to think about the timing of your day; if you start celebrations at midday you will potentially end up feeding people a wedding breakfast, afternoon tea and an evening meal. By starting events at 4pm you can provide a single, early evening meal. Additional evening guests are popular and you will no doubt want to feed them but street food, waffle vans, hog roasts are all viable options. Decisions about beverages will need to be made too but even if you want to offer alcohol for free don’t feel under pressure to provide a full range of spirits - a bar with beer, wine and soft drinks is absolutely fine.
For the ultimate waffle van, I recommend London based Utter Waffle
Wedding Attire: Whilst it is usual for grooms to hire a particular outfit for their wedding day or purchase a good suit which will serve them well for several years, the emotional pressure for brides to find ‘the dress’ can be huge. The average cost of a wedding dress is £1,500 (Hitched, 2024) but it is not uncommon for brides to fall in love with gowns costing much more. Every bride wants to look fabulous on their wedding day, but there are a number of ways of achieving this more economically - bridal shops have sales during the summer months with significant discounts to be had; many shops have a permanent sale rail available for brides to peruse. Pre-loved wedding dresses are becoming increasingly popular - better for the environment and kinder on the budget! The very fact that so many brides purchase their dress and wear it only once means there is an excellent market in pre-loved gowns; for a fraction of the original price you can have a designer dress that has been previously worn for all of eight hours! Private sellers and charity shops are additional sources for pre-loved dresses.
Looking for the perfect wedding dress? I recommend Maisie Darling Bridal Boutique in Lutterworth. Offering both pre-loved and new gowns, a personal appointment at Maisie Darling is the perfect way to find the dress.
Ceremony: If, for you, the ceremony is just a formality to be completed, consider doing this separately to your wedding day. In order to be married legally, you are required to give notice of your intent to marry for which there is a charge and local authorities are obliged to offer a simple 2+2 ceremony at reasonable cost. This means it is possible to complete the formalities for approximately £155 (Leicestershire, November 2024) leaving you free to spend your budget on your celebrations if that’s what you choose. (For more details see my FAQs). If, however, the ceremony is key for you as a couple, consider asking a celebrant to create, write and deliver a bespoke, personalised ceremony just for you. (The legal marriage would need to be completed separately as above). If you are on a tight budget, think carefully before paying for a registrar to visit a registered venue to marry you - the charges are high and the ceremony is short; a ceremony at the registry office might feel better value.
If you think a celebrant-led wedding might be right for you, please take a look at my website. You may also find my blog on choosing a celebrant helpful.
Transport: Often there are costs involved moving you and your guests from the site of the ceremony to the reception. Obvious budget options are using your personal cars, walking etc.
I loved hearing the story of BBC journalist Thomas Mackintosh and his bride who,
having married at Old Marylebone Town Hall as one of 100 couples married there on its 100th anniversary of holding civil weddings, then travelled, with their guests by tube to their reception venue. Thomas said, “We both spend a sizeable chunk of our London life on the Tube, so it’s fitting that bemused commuters were part of our day”! (Incidentally for Thomas and his wife, the photographer was a top priority and they chose Liam Gillan to fulfil this critical role for them; it’s easy to see why. My sincere thanks to Thomas, his bride and Liam for allowing me to publish this photo)
Stationery: As someone with a serious stationery addiction, I understand the attraction of bespoke, themed wedding invitations, table plans and place settings but if these are not your top priorities, consider using social media. We communicate almost nothing else by post these days, why not set up a notice page on your preferred platform and communicate through that? You can always have a small number of physical announcements made - for the memento box and the older relatives who otherwise might miss the event! Another idea is to send the final invite early rather than a 'save the date' and an invite - this means you can spend more on the invite, if that's what you choose.
My own favourite for wedding stationery is Tickled Pink - based in Leicester, they produce completely bespoke invitations, seating plans and more on the theme of your choice.
Flowers: Silk flowers are growing in popularity for environmental and financial reasons. These can be hired for your day at a fraction of the cost of fresh flowers.
DIY: Not a category but rather an approach that can apply to every part of your wedding. Consider what you can do for yourself or what others can do for you, perhaps as their personalised gift to you. Do you have a horticultural friend who could make table decorations, a relative who’s a keen photographer and so on. Obviously there are risks and I would suggest your absolute priorities are not the area to rely on friends but most amateurs will do all they can not to let you down and might love the chance to play a significant role in your special day.
By Catrina Young, Leicestershire Heart-led celebrant, Marking Life’s Moments.
© Hardingstone Ceremonies, November 2024
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