When a friend asked me the other day whether it make a difference as to which funeral director you use, I found myself at pains to explain the chasm of difference between some Funeral Directors (FD) and others. Of course, it’s important not to generalise and I recognise that I am in danger of stereotyping but I’d like to share my insights on this, in case it’s of help to someone in their time of need.
When a loved one dies, grief can be overwhelming and the task of organising a funeral can seem impossible to manage. This is why it’s so important to choose the right FD; your choice will impact every facet of the task and will determine whether the farewell for your loved one is as you wish.  The right FD will support you through every aspect of the funeral, they will offer help with the legal and practical necessities and may even offer ongoing bereavement services to help you in the aftermath of your loss. Crucially, they will appoint the right officiant to carry out whatever service you require be that a religious leader, a Humanist or independent celebrant. The choice of officiant will dictate the content and feel of the service and the best FDs have a list of officiants they trust to serve clients to the highest standards; they will carefully match families to officiant.
When I embarked on my role as an Independent Celebrant, I contacted several local
funeral directors, having first researched those with the strongest reputations. I am eternally grateful to J.Stamps & Sons of Market Harborough who invited me to their premises, discussed my ethos to ensure it aligned with theirs and then asked me to lead a service for one of their families. That meeting was crucial because as a celebrant leading the service, I represent them to their clients and to every person attending. J.Stamps & Sons is an independent firm currently led by the third generation of the Stamp family; the firm prides itself on the quality and bespoke nature of their service and enjoys the strongest of reputations within their community. I am honoured to have conducted many services for J.Stamps & Sons since and it’s always a source of enormous pride to represent them.  I have recently made a connection with A.J.Adkinson of Oadby, another independent FD, also with an outstanding reputation within the local community and I am delighted to begin working with them.Â
All the above is in contrast to some FDs who seek to maximise profit rather than customer service. There has been a great deal in the press this year about the funeral industry which is currently completely unregulated, meaning anyone can set up as a FD; no qualifications or experience is required. So how should you choose your FD? Local reputation is a strong indicator in choosing a high quality FD; the best FDs carry out every aspect of the role to the highest professional standards; this means looking after the body of the deceased person with utmost dignity and care and it means looking after the family of the deceased with complete compassion.
All FDs offer a range of services from the supremely simple to something much more elaborate so my advice would be, don’t be tempted by the TV adverts for companies offering a ‘Direct Cremation’ and claiming to be the cheapest, easiest option. Of course, some people have been happy with their services but many have not. I have heard awful stories of families left not knowing where a loved one is being cremated (nationwide companies will use whichever crematorium is available and dare I say cheapest), not knowing what time the cremation is due to take place and therefore not knowing what to do with themselves on the day of the cremation and too often being left without a sense of closure. Of course I am biased but, in my opinion those that want a private, simple farewell are best served by a high quality FD and a simple ceremony.
By Catrina Young, Leicestershire Heart-led celebrant, Marking Life’s Moments.
© Hardingstone Ceremonies, January, 2025
Wholeheartedly agree) and Stamps is an excellent FD).