The Secret of Happiness?

Happiness is....

I have long been interested in the claim, regularly made, that religious people live happier lives (eg IIFL, Dec ‘23 which claims among other things that 73% of people who identify as religious say they have ‘good psychological wellbeing’ compared to 49% of atheists surveyed).  It’s not hard to see that the reasons for such claims are complex and may have to do with an individual’s perception of well-being as well as any possible divine action.

Personally, I think community is playing a big part; people who identify as religious will usually choose to share their faith in a community.  The benefits of community membership are well documented - “A community can help us to feel connected to something larger than ourselves” (Samantha Stein, Psychology Today, 2023).  A community provides connections with others both past and present within that community.  It validates the shared perspective of that community whether that is the value of faith, the beauty of vintage cars or the joys of collecting stamps.  Communities usually meet up to acknowledge, discuss, and celebrate their raison d'être either in person or online and in doing so provide human interaction and hopefully friendship - both critical to well-being for most.  Often communities have

Weekly shirt wash

ceremonies and rituals to help them mark significant occasions - these are obvious within a faith tradition; weddings, funerals etc. but in secular settings rituals abound too.  The work Christmas party, the national Quilt Exhibition at the NEC, or the annual village fête are all examples of communities reinforcing themselves using ceremony and ritual. I admit the weekly wash of team shirts isn't everyone's idea of community fulfillment but I rather enjoyed it!

The communities we belong to are many and varied - some are determined by our family setting, others by our nationality or location.  As adults we largely choose our communities or at least which ones we choose to invest in, nurture and cultivate.  As a child, I was conscious of the Forces community.  It was invaluable to me in helping me navigate the four different schools I attended before the age of 10.  Forces children usually develop the ability to join new groups easily and just as importantly to welcome new members to their already established groups.  The adults too rely on community members to make the regular relocations manageable and I have lots of early memories of having many different families to stay, whilst they waited for their quarters (houses) to be ready.  I wonder how much this influenced my decisions later in life to act as a host family for exchange students, put up a number of visiting staff or offer the school Mandarin teacher an English Christmas. For most of my adult life (so far) my community has been the school at which I was working.  Schools are highly ritualistic - the traditions of the first day of term, the Open Days, Carol Services and summer Prize Giving ceremonies all punctuate the year and offer students and staff alike a framework within which to exist.  In my 20’s others suggested that there’d come a time when schools wouldn’t exist in physical form; that learning would all be virtual.  Well, if the pandemic showed us anything at all, it showed us clearly just how important a physical school community is.  For countless children around the country without the routine and structure of school, their life was harder; in some cases much harder.  For the last 30 years school (both my own and those of my children) has taken up my time and energy as far as community is concerned and one of the joys of my post-teaching life is having the chance to play a bigger part in my wider communities.

June Death Cafe, Kirby Muxloe

As an independent celebrant I am committed to serving my community.  I offer bespoke, personalised ceremonies that help people to mark important occasions be they associated with welcomes, unions or farewells - of all sorts.  I have written elsewhere about my belief in the importance of ceremony and see my role clearly as one of service.  I have established the Leicestershire Celebrants’ Forum - an informal community of celebrants who believe that cooperation is better than competition and am delighted to report that the group has already proved itself to be supportive of one another in practical and social ways. Service to my community was the motivation behind establishing a Death Cafe in my village. Open and welcoming to all, a Death Cafe is designed to break down the taboo our society holds around talking about death and I am delighted to be playing small part in this important quest. (For more info on what a Death Cafe is, see my blog.)

I am excited to have recently joined my village WI (Women's Institute) and have already signed up to staff the teas at our village Fun Day.  The WI was formed in 1915 to give women a voice and they have for more 100 years been a community of women, sharing their lives and supporting each other as well as campaigning on important social issues.  What’s more my mother was a longstanding member of the WI and I am not oblivious to her legacy rooting me now in my community. 

By Catrina Young, Leicestershire Heart-led celebrant, Marking Life’s Moments.

© Hardingstone Ceremonies, August, 2025

73% say they have ‘good psychological wellbeing,’ compared to 49% for atheists.

73% say they have ‘good psychological wellbeing,’ compared to 49% for atheists.

73% say they have ‘good psychological wellbeing,’ compared to 49% for