Isn't Your Job Terribly Sad?

Isn’t your job terribly sad? This is a question I often get asked when I tell people that I work as a funeral celebrant. Well first of all, as an Independent Celebrant, I conduct all sorts of ceremonies - namings, weddings etc. and these involve lots of love, celebration and thankfulness.  You may be surprised, however, that my work as a funeral celebrant involves exactly the same emotions.  Of course, the context of funeral work is sad - families are often in the rawest and fiercest stage of grief - as a funeral celebrant it is vital that I am able to sit with people and walk alongside them in this most agonising of states. Being with people as they grieve requires a special kind of energy; an energy that accepts their pain, holds space for it and empathises with their situation.  

Family meetings - a time to reminisce, to laugh, to cry.

Despite this I don't consider my work to be sad.  Often it is my meeting with a family that becomes the first opportunity they have had to begin to remember the fun times, the times before a loved one was poorly or before tragedy struck.  Families often comment that they’ve ‘enjoyed’ our initial meeting because it has encouraged them to reflect on the positive qualities of their loved one, they’ve told me funny stories - sometimes too risque to make the final cut but nonetheless heartwarming and joyous memories.  They have shared the qualities they admired most in their loved one and the ways in which they will stay with the individual or family. It is an enormous privilege to learn the stories of so many.

On the day of a funeral, again the context inevitably is one of loss but sometimes the ceremony is a true celebration of a person’s life.  Granted this is easier when the person who has died has lived a long, loving life and has passed peacefully but

Humour can sometimes be the best reflection of a person's character.

even when this is not the case, families often choose to bring as much joy to a funeral as possible.  The ways to bring lightness and joy to a funeral are many and varied, from the choice of music, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life is more popular than you might expect, to readings which can come from a favourite children’s book or lighthearted poetry - the work of Spike Milligan comes to mind.  A well-crafted eulogy is far more than a prècis of the person’s life but rather a rounded and colourful account of their character and personality.

One of the reasons I am not overwhelmed by sadness in my funeral work is that I choose to focus on the rewarding aspects of the job.  It is the greatest honour to make this most challenging of days just a little bit better; writing and delivering a service that is heart-felt and truly reflective of the person brings enormous reward.  And then there’s the feedback!  I am lucky that my families and their mourners are usually fulsome in their appreciation for the service I’ve delivered; sometimes even including the ultimate compliment to a funeral celebrant, asking how I knew the person concerned.

The feedback from families means the world!

So no, I don't find my work sad.  I find it fulfilling, rewarding and full of love.   

By Catrina Young, Leicestershire Heart-led Celebrant; Marking Life’s Moments.

© Hardingstone Ceremonies, May 2026