Planning a Wedding - Making a Start

Are you newly engaged?  It can be daunting to embark on planning a wedding and as soon as you announce your intention to marry, you can bet your bottom dollar that, family, friends, colleagues and even strangers will have an opinion about what you should or shouldn’t do and by when!  It's been a long time since I planned my own wedding (!) but I hope my experience and insights will help, if this is all new for you. 

The options for a wedding are endless and there’s something to suit everyone.  You may already have a very clear idea of what you want your wedding to look like in which case your planning is already underway and every decision will be about achieving your vision but if you don’t yet know what you want, follow this guide and you should end up with a day to remember.  Although the plan lays decisions out in some sort of order, you may need to alter this to suit your needs - for example, if having everyone you know attend is the most important feature for you, then that will be your starting point and will to a large extent determine your options for where to marry.

Congratulations!

I’m biased but think the starting point should be your ceremony - not just because it’s the heart of your wedding but because it will determine so much - where you can get married (a registrar wedding can only take place at certain licensed venues), when you can get married (licensed venues get very busy in peak periods and the timings on offer can be limited) and the style of wedding (a registrar wedding will be short, to the point and follow a set script).  You can read more about the options when getting married here but in my (entirely biased) opinion a celebrant-led wedding allows you maximum flexibility.  If you want to marry in a secluded woodland, you can.  If you’re both keen sailors and you want your ceremony to take place on a boat, no problem.  A celebrant-led wedding will be completely bespoke, personalised and unique to you.  For more details about celebrant-led weddings see my blog.

Having decided on a ceremony style, the next decision is either when or where you’ll get married.  I say either because these two aspects are often intricately bound - if you’ve found the perfect venue, availability will determine timing; if you know you want to marry in three months time then your choice of venue will be limited.  Budget also comes into play here - if you need to save for an expensive wedding, there may be a number of years before the big day although securing a venue as soon as possible is a good idea. You can see more ideas about planning a wedding on a budget here.

Once you know when, where and how you’re getting married, you’ll what to consider how many people and whom you want coming to your wedding.  Consider whether you want a certain number for all the proceedings or whether you prefer a smaller number to attend the ceremony part and then to be joined by others for a party later.  Now you can order and send save the dates / invites although there’s no need to do both unless your wedding is a very long way off! 

You now have the basic structure of your day in place and can get down to detail.  I recommend thinking of the day and working through it; for example before the ceremony you will want:

• Bride and Groom to have appropriate outfits.

• Wedding ring(s)

• Bridesmaids / groomsmen etc. in suitable attire

• Make up / Hair for certain members of the wedding party

• Music for the ceremony / meal / party

• To offer guests food & drinks however you choose to do that. Ceremony timing is important here - a 12 noon ceremony will usually mean guests will need a meal afterwards and then some further food if your celebrations continue to the evening. A 4pm ceremony means you can plan a single meal at say 6pm.

• A table plan if you’re having one

• Seating for everyone (most venues will have taken care of this!)

• To consider what speeches you’d like - TOP TIP: don’t leave them ‘till after the meal or at least not all of them.  Many speechgivers will enjoy their meal far more if their speech is done and spreading them out across proceedings keeps everyone paying attention!

• To consider what entertainment or activities if any, you want to offer guests.  Band, Disco, magician there are lots of options.

• To decide what time celebrations will finish - TOP TIP: ask your guests to ‘ghost’ you if leaving early, otherwise you risk spending the last 90 mins of your day being interrupted by people who are ‘ just off now’!

• Accommodation for the wedding night and so on.

  
  

As planning proceeds, you can extend the list to include desired elements in the lead up eg accommodation the night before the wedding and additional details for afterwards such as packing for honeymoon etc.

It’s impossible to offer a definitive guide to how far in advance each element should be booked as this depends entirely on your overall timescale but progressing steadily through the day should ensure when it arrives everything is in its place. 

If you think you might like a bespoke personalised ceremony that is a true reflection of you as a couple, please do consider a celebrant-led wedding and please do take a look at my website and what I can offer as a wedding celebrant here; I’d love to hear from you and to explore if you think I might be the right celebrant for you.

By Catrina Young, Leicestershire Heart-led celebrant, Marking Life’s Moments.

© Hardingstone Ceremonies, December, 2025