What is a Living Funeral?
So often in my work as a funeral celebrant, I’ve heard it said, “If only she could have been here; she’d have loved this”. You may be surprised to know, there is a way; by holding what’s known as a ‘Living Funeral’ - a funeral service with the guest of honour present. This concept is gaining in popularity and not just among the elderly in our community with 53% of 18-24 year olds expressing interest. (ehospice.com Dec, 24)
Most usually, in the UK, it’s a choice made by someone who is terminally ill - knowing they have only a short time left, they choose to celebrate their life with loved ones before they die. There are no rules or set patterns as to what such a service should look like; a living funeral can take place anywhere - a favourite outdoor spot, a village hall or beside someone’s bed. There can be music, readings and a eulogy just as
there often is at a more traditional funeral service or the celebration can take a completely different format - a party, meditation or something else. The critical point is that it allows someone whose life is limited to be in control of how and when they say goodbye.
Not everyone would manage, as founder of Coppafeel, Kris Hallenger did, to hold their Living Funeral in Truro Cathedral or, again as she did, to entice Dawn French to reprise her role as the Vicar of Dibley for the service but a summer party in one’s own garden, a village hall or even local pub surrounded by family and friends at which favourite stories are shared, heartfelt goodbyes uttered and legacies considered; that is an option for any of us.
Whilst in Europe and the UK most Living Funerals are held by those for whom death is expected shortly, this is not true of all. Japanese culture has a long history of preparing for death and within this context ‘living funerals’ are well established, offering as they do, a chance for people to consider their mortality and reflect on their lives. There is a popular funeral poem, The Dash by Linda Ellis which reflects on the importance of the dash on a headstone between the dates of birth and death. The final verse reads,
“So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?”
Holding or attending your own funeral would certainly help to focus the mind on what your life’s legacy would be!
Those who are still be in good health but who are getting older may also like the idea of saying their goodbyes on their terms. The rise of Direct Funerals (those unattended by family or friends) in recent years has, I believe, been born out of a desire to alleviate the stress of organising and the financial burden, of a funeral for one’s family. Perhaps a ‘Living Funeral’ could address this by offering your loved ones the all important chance to say goodbye and pay their respects without the demands of a traditional funeral? (To understand my concerns around Direct Funerals see my blog).
Whilst a Living Funeral does not require a ceremony of any sort, religious leaders and celebrants are well versed in creating and delivering rituals and ceremonies to reflect a person’s beliefs and values. They will have considered carefully the meaning of life and death, have a wealth of experience when it comes to choosing poetry, music and more and can hold space sensitively and respectfully whilst people consider these important matters. (For more information on why ceremony matters see my blog.) Another advantage of organising a Living Funeral is you can choose who leads any ceremony you decide to include; if you choose to have a celebrant, it's important to find the right one for you. For more information on choosing a celebrant, see my blog .
By Catrina Young, Leicestershire Heart-led Celebrant; Marking Life’s Moments.
© Hardingstone Ceremonies, July, 2026
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